The Gift (That Was Actually a Sign)
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It was a sign that my marriage to my ex was coming to an end.
The Gift for No Reason
My ex and I had been looking at watches. This was years ago, before the invention of the Apple Watch. He mentioned that he wanted a new watch, and I mentioned that I would love to replace my old one. We browsed here and there, pointing out the features we liked.
One day, out of the blue, he brought home a watch I had admired. This watch was expensive! Way more than anything I would purchase for myself. I asked him why he bought it, and he said he just wanted to get me one. I felt so loved, and cared for. Wow! An expensive piece of jewelry like that for no reason! I had gotten expensive gifts before, but not for “no reason”.
I proudly wore that watch every day. I admired it as I strapped it on my arm every morning. I felt like every outfit was elevated just a bit.
The Deflation
About a week after I got my new watch, a package showed up at the door. It had to be signed for. It was addressed to my ex. He excitedly opened the package right away. He pulled out a gently used Rolex watch. I had no idea that was coming. I asked him how much he got it for. It was $5,000 more than the watch he got me!
Now, don’t get me wrong, I still loved my watch. I probably wouldn’t have worn a Rolex. That just wasn’t something that I cared about. Sure, I would take one, if someone gave it to me, but I would never ask for one, or purchase one.
But, the dejection that flowed through my body was brutal. He didn’t buy me an expensive watch because he loved me. He didn’t just buy it, out of the blue, for no reason. He had a really good reason. His reason was to keep me from complaining about the amount of money he spent on his own watch. By this point, we had a house, and kids. Huge purchases should have been something we discussed. I’m sure he was thinking, “Oh, she’ll be mad if I buy this expensive Rolex. What can I do to get her to be okay with it? Oh, I know, I’ll buy her a watch that’s a lot cheaper, but still really nice.”
I still loved my watch. I still wore it every day for years. It wasn’t the watch I had a problem with. I didn’t even have a problem with the Rolex. It just felt slimy, the way he…